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Books, Humor, Satire

ONE PERCENT SOLUTION . . . (one page per day) Page 82 of 252

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A satire of dysfunctional politics and economic disparity.  

Chapter VIII: Day/Page 82 CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY. . . . In fact, the more outlandish, extreme, and absurd the right-handed side behaved, after getting into office, the more effectively their point was made, so that the bar for what was considered absolutely-ridiculous behavior kept getting raised higher and higher, as every right-hander eagerly toiled to outdo the buffoonery of the other.

This was a wildly successful strategy, because as their buffoonery escalated the public became increasingly disgusted with government and their clownish elected officials, eventually becoming pathologically apathetic, and finally mortally convinced that the right-handers were in fact right—effective government did not, could not, and never would, exist. Responsible government was pure fantasy! Any moron who thought otherwise merely had to look aghast at the pathetic, sorry-ass excuse for what was now called an elected public official to see the validity of the right-hander’s claim.

But it took time for this winning strategy to succeed, and in the interim it was often confusing for the right-handers, because as their buffoonery escalated it became harder for them to know which side of the isle they were supposed to throw rocks at. If a suggestion was made by a member from the left-hand side, well, then it was easy; the right-handers didn’t even have to consider or debate the proposal from Them, much less read or try to understand it. All they had to do was pick up as many rocks as they could carry and summarily stone the hell out of the left-handed idea.

But, on the other hand, if a new proposal was floated by a colleague of theirs from the right, from one of the Us crowd, well, that was a bit more problematic. Just as every hammer only sees nails, every right-handed rock thrower only sees left-handed pinko ideas. And since the right-hander’s underlying goal was to wreck responsible government to the core, it was always better to go ahead and torpedo a fellow colleague’s silly daft idea, rather than to risk letting a sensible, well-founded suggestion slip through. Therefore it was not uncommon for right-handers to stone to death proposals initiated by their fellow colleagues from the right just as quickly and as often as they bludgeoned ideas from the left; albeit perhaps with less enthusiasm and fewer rocks, since the actual initiator of the right-handed proposal rarely stoned his own idea.

But, on occasion, that happened too.

In one notable case a right-handed proposal was made which unfortunately engendered broad support and ardent endorsement from a significant majority of those on the left. In other words, the proposal got what long ago would have been called “Bi-partisan support.”

Well, you can imagine what happened—the hapless, traitorous guy from the right who had unwittingly come up with the bi-partisan plan had no choice but to first pillory his own idea in public, and then vehemently stone it to death in front of the crowd. But, to his credit, and many of his right-handed colleagues proudly  . . .


Available on Amazon , Barnes & NobleKobo, and Smashwords in Digital and Paperback versions. 

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2013 by Gregory James      All rights reserved


About Gregory James

After 20 years working and living overseas, I returned to the US and was disgusted by how partisan and polarized the country had become. Civility and compromise are now quaint things of the past, replaced by intolerance and the rule of extremes. So I gave up a lucrative career for staring at blank pages and searching for words, in the hope that words might help enact change. Stupid. . . . I know! But after 9 months of labor I birthed forth a book, entitled ONE PERCENT SOLUTION. Reminiscent of Vonnegut, with a dash of Saramago and Fforde, this humorous, satirical, often irreverent romp mocks the absurd we accept to be normal, ridicules the ridiculously low bar we set, and challenges all of us to demand more of ourselves by making light of what is sacred that shackles us.


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