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Books, Humor, Satire

ONE PERCENT SOLUTION . . . (posted one page per day) Page 8 of 252

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A satire of dysfunctional government, social and economic inequality.  

Chapter I: Day/Page 8 CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY. . . . They proposed the option mentioned earlier: Opening a temporal-wormhole to the remote planet that had launched the missiles; sending a commando back in time to before the missiles were launched—and, by the way, they had just the “right guy” for the job—and then having him initiate a “Reset” on the class-1 people there, making it technologically impossible for the nuclear nitwits to launch the missiles in the first place. Basically, they proposed changing one timeline of history so that it never happened, which was against interplanetary law.

Details were sparse about exactly how a reset worked, but it was clear that the end result was to effectively pull the technological-plug on the nascent class-1 life there, or, as the Admiral from Gâia so colorfully put it, “Wring the wings off those wankers.” What the illegal plan lacked in complexity was more than compensated for by its simplicity, making it easy to understand and simple to explain, two highly-valued traits among the mostly-empty crowd.

Countering that elegantly-simple proposal was the Dean of Biology from LAAC, who, along with a Philosophy colleague of hers from another planet, pointed out that there were undoubtedly valuable scientific inquiries which should be undertaken before initiating the reset, or pulling the plug, or wringing the wings, it didn’t matter to the Dean which particular image members of the LSP preferred; her point was that it was important that she and others be given the time needed to pursue this important research first. Not to mention, as her esteemed Philosophy colleague had so rightly just mentioned, the moral, ethical, and legal implications of opening a temporal-wormhole to send a newly-evolved class-1 life-form back into the primordial ooze from whence it had only recently crawled, without at least first trying to learn something about them. Maybe, the Dean went on optimistically to suggest, this class-1 intelligent life-form could even be reasoned with, and shown their errant ways, thus obviating the need for a harsh reset.

The Minister representing the Andromeda Galaxy, however, stressed the point made earlier, pointing out that normally if a class-1 life-form on some remote world was asinine enough to wipe out itself with nuclear weapons, that while such an event was certainly regrettable, it would not necessitate the kind of severe intervention being considered here today, since only that particular planet would be affected, none others.

Unfortunately, though, in this particular case, the dimwitted num-nuts responsible for this cosmic catastrophe not only have shown a proclivity to nuke themselves into the Stone Age, but also managed to blindly shoot their load into space, targeting the one moon in the entire galaxy where the Wobble had been placed to offset the effect of the GOD Wave. Under these “heightened circumstances,” he argued, intervention of any kind was warranted and justified, including the use of a temporal-wormhole to travel back in time and reset the planet, thus chucking the num-nuts face-first into the primordial ooze. In fact, he said, the sooner the num-nuts were chucked, the better off the universe would be.

Furthermore, he stated . . . TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW

Available on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback versions.  


This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2013 by Gregory James

All rights reserved


About Gregory James

After 20 years working and living overseas, I returned to the US and was disgusted by how partisan and polarized the country had become. Civility and compromise are now quaint things of the past, replaced by intolerance and the rule of extremes. So I gave up a lucrative career for staring at blank pages and searching for words, in the hope that words might help enact change. Stupid. . . . I know! But after 9 months of labor I birthed forth a book, entitled ONE PERCENT SOLUTION. Reminiscent of Vonnegut, with a dash of Saramago and Fforde, this humorous, satirical, often irreverent romp mocks the absurd we accept to be normal, ridicules the ridiculously low bar we set, and challenges all of us to demand more of ourselves by making light of what is sacred that shackles us.


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