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Books, Humor, Satire

ONE PERCENT SOLUTION: a novel . . . (posted one page per day) Day/Page 4 of 252


One_Percent_Solution_Cover_for_Kindle  DSC00772_FINAL front page_head_2

A satirical farce about social polarization, dysfunctional government, and economic inequality.  

Available on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback versions.  

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Chapter I: Day/Page 4

CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY. . . . The trouble with this particular planet, however, the reason this case is so nettlesome and vexing, is a consequential shackle of fate fettering this remote nuclear-tainted world to a second, far more momentous event which the astronomers of LAAC have been studying meticulously for millennia—making calculations, rehearsing scenarios, preparing for every contingency so that there were no mistakes, no hiccups, no surprises. And then suddenly, despite every precaution, after thousands of years of diligent, methodical care—guess what? Surprise!

Were it not for this fickle finger of fate flicking them a birdie, none of the harsh actions now being contemplated by the Academy against the ill-fated planet of nuclear nitwits would have been considered, and the nitwits there would have been free to nuke themselves into oblivion, or not, at their leisure. The choice would have been entirely theirs.

But that’s not what happened, because this second event is what the astronomers of LAAC call the “Cosmic event of a lifetime,” which is why astronomers and cosmologists, purveyors of stellar dust of every stripe and strain, wake up each and every day on countless worlds thanking their lucky stars to have the great fortune to be living in this particular place in space, at this precise moment in time, despite the obvious danger we all now face. These are, as they say, exciting times.

As our more perspicacious readers may already have gleaned, we are talking about the coming of the “General Obliterating Disruptive Wave,” or GOD Wave. For those not familiar with the term, a GOD Wave is similar to other kinds of wave disruptions, such as getting stuck in bad seats at the symphony, where poor acoustics causes the music to sound muted and dull. This occurs when two colliding sound waves have identical wavelengths, and the crest, or high point, of the first wave coincides precisely with the trough, or low point, of the second, thus canceling out one another, resulting in a less-than-optimal sound.

With a GOD Wave, though, this is no simple case of symphonic disappointment where you call the usher over and ask him to find you better seats. With a GOD Wave there is a nullifying, obliteration of waves from the cosmic ocean, from the cosmological spark that lit the big bang, catapulting nothingness into everything. But now we’re talking about two big bangs, two sparks, which ignited separate and distinct universes. The first spark is the one that ignited the universe you and I call home. The second spark is the one that ignited the other universe, the second universe, the universe that is at this very moment blistering towards our cosmic shores at unfathomable speed like a celestial tsunami, churning up astronomical waves of searing stellar gas—a roiling cloud of super-heated energy boiling planets and suns, barely visible on the cosmic horizon, yet thundering ever-closer to raze into ash the worlds we stand on.

The good news is . . . TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW 

 

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2013 by Gregory James

All rights reserved

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About Gregory James

After 20 years working and living overseas, I returned to the US and was disgusted by how partisan and polarized the country had become. Civility and compromise are now quaint things of the past, replaced by intolerance and the rule of extremes. So I gave up a lucrative career for staring at blank pages and searching for words, in the hope that words might help enact change. Stupid. . . . I know! But after 9 months of labor I birthed forth a book, entitled ONE PERCENT SOLUTION. Reminiscent of Vonnegut, with a dash of Saramago and Fforde, this humorous, satirical, often irreverent romp mocks the absurd we accept to be normal, ridicules the ridiculously low bar we set, and challenges all of us to demand more of ourselves by making light of what is sacred that shackles us.

Discussion

One thought on “ONE PERCENT SOLUTION: a novel . . . (posted one page per day) Day/Page 4 of 252

  1. Okay. Question: are you talking about two separate events about to occur? The GOD wave and the three nuclear missiles hurtling toward the planet?

    If two, then the missles somehow got lost in the shuffle for me. If the same events, it’s confusing to my feeble brain.

    A second Big Bang — leads me to think that the two creation events could possibly have served as background earlier in the work. Especially if the present intelligence has been monitoring the possibility/inevitability of a GOD wave. Perhaps the GOD wave was initially theoretical, and developed by some revered thinker of that species.

    Also: who is your audience? What level education and what areas of understanding. I like your choice of words generally. The description of the swallows I thought very image-provoking. I can see those animals depicted on screen, in fact.

    Also, if we are talking about an intelligence so far advanced that is receiving billions of bytes of data from throughout the known universes, wouldn’t they have developed some way of marking data to alert of things like intelligent life toying around with atoms?

    Like

    Posted by skipmars | May 8, 2014, 08:01

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