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Books, Humor, Satire

ONE PERCENT SOLUTION: a novel . . . (posted one page per day) Day/Page 3 of 252

One_Percent_Solution_Cover_-200% DSC00772_FINAL front page_head_2

A satirical farce about social polarization, dysfunctional government, and economic inequality.  

Available on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback versions.  About the Author.


Chapter I: Day/Page 3

CONTINUED. . . . The Academy of LAAC long-ago suspected the potential for intelligent class-1 life evolving on that planet, which is why the sensors were placed there in the first place, but no one had expected any to evolve there so quickly, especially one capable of nuking itself. Therefore, even though the sensors were, for tens of thousands of years, regularly beaming information from that planet back to the Academy’s database, no one, until now, had bothered to look at the data. This is not surprising, though, when you consider that data from billions of sensors on millions of worlds is beamed regularly into the Academy daily, making it impossible, or at least tediously unpleasant, for someone to review every scrap of information received.

Normally, the fact that some new life-form had made the quantum leap from fire to fission so quickly would be scientifically interesting, would stimulate lively intellectual debate, might provide engaging academic fodder for one of the Academy’s many scholarly journals, but such a discovery would never provoke the kind of severe reaction it now engendered. Typically, if some new species of so-called intelligent life looked dimwitted enough to irradiate itself with nuclear weapons, rendering their planet uninhabitable for 100,000 years or more, as lamentable a loss as that was, the scientists of LAAC were sage enough to understand that the loss of one planet out of an infinite number of planets was not a major event. Infinity less one, after all, is still infinity.

Dimwitted worlds had exterminated themselves before, and were certainly bound to again, so there was no point in getting one’s feathers all ruffled. If the scientists from LAAC had to soar in each and every time some featherheaded, sorry-excuse for class-1 life showed the proclivity to nuke itself, well, there’d be little time left for much else. Besides, they didn’t have the budget for it; and no one from the Academy was daft enough to carry a funding proposal for such a loony idea over to the Ministry of Inter-Planetary Affairs, where they would only be met with derision and laughter for having had the testicular fortitude—the “egg-sack,” as they put it—to suggest such a ridiculous plan. The whole idea of the Academy having to hand-hold thousands of feebleminded, idiotic class-1 species who just happened to have enough smarts to split atoms, but lacked the sanity to not blow themselves up, was preposterous. LAAC had bigger fish to fry.

The trouble with this particular planet, however . . . TO BE CONTINUED


This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2013 by Gregory James

All rights reserved


About Gregory James

After 20 years working and living overseas, I returned to the US and was disgusted by how partisan and polarized the country had become. Civility and compromise are now quaint things of the past, replaced by intolerance and the rule of extremes. So I gave up a lucrative career for staring at blank pages and searching for words, in the hope that words might help enact change. Stupid. . . . I know! But after 9 months of labor I birthed forth a book, entitled ONE PERCENT SOLUTION. Reminiscent of Vonnegut, with a dash of Saramago and Fforde, this humorous, satirical, often irreverent romp mocks the absurd we accept to be normal, ridicules the ridiculously low bar we set, and challenges all of us to demand more of ourselves by making light of what is sacred that shackles us.


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